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It's the end of the day. Ha, I'm not kidding anyone! The day has barely begun, but my energy level is certainly suffering. I'm sitting in Newhouse III, looking at the style book and the flyer that I should probably be going throI don't think I'm a big fan of where I'm sitting.. I've sat at this table before and I always feel like I'm cold. No matter what, it's a little too chilly for my likingugh, giving me an extra edge. But I'm not. I'm ranting in my blog because I'm tired and don't want to focus on what I HAVE to get done. There's a, for the most part empty, starbucks cup that only seemed to give me a sugar headache rather than the energy I needed.
I'm sitting at a table where I can see cars and walkers ass by the school on Waverly Street and can just make out people going up and down Marshall Street with what I can only assume is a cup of Starbucks coffee.
I'm busy today. I don't know if that's exactly true, but it certainly feels as though I have a lot to do. Maybe I'm not looking forward to the fact that I won't be back on South Campus (:home:) 9. And I still want to work out tonight. Meaning I won't have a chance to rest until 10 or 11. That's probably why I'm not sitting in Heroy trying to pretend like I'm actually learning anything in my Math class. So right now I have an hour to kill while I wait for Spanish class.
Mreh, I should have brought my book with me. I started to read The Other Boelyn Girl again last night and it was good! I had started to read it and have been reading a page or two whenever I get the chance....meaning I have not read pretty much at all. SO last night I had sometime and decided to read for 2 hours. It was good and I got quite a bit read. I can't wait until the movie comes out. First of all, I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Scarlett Johannson. Second of all, I think it would be really interesting to see how she and Natalie Portman work together. I'm still bewildered that Scarlett plays a submissive docile role to Natalie's dominant headstrong role. I think Lara and I are going to go see it when it comes out seeing as she's read the book. It doesn't look like ti's going to be very good as far as being an adaptation, but that doesn't mean that it can't be a good movie.
I'm not really a fan of the table where I am. I seem to sit at this exact table a lot, but I always wind up feeling cold. There's something about it's location that just makes it drafty. I guess I could put a coat on, but ih. haha
I'm going through Kelina's iTunes right now because I pretty much have nothing else to do. Sad, right? Oh well. Actually I'm listening to a bunch of songs that se apparently has never listened to on her. Which feels kinda weird. I think I'm the only person in the world that would feel weird about that. But I feel as though I shouldn't listen to something on someone else's computer that they haven't listened to yet. Yeah, I know, I'm really retarded.
So I'm looking at this building that is either right on Marshall Street or right by it, and I'm looking at the to of it and I really want to have an apartment there. Is that weird too? Wanting to have a an apartment in a place that might not have apartments. Well, luckily for me, it looks like an apartment buildin. But I mean I guess the building in general looks nice. But I think I would just want to live at the top. I don't really know how to describe it, but it's looks really cool with little alcoves where the windows are. It's pretty. Probably really expensive seeing as it looks like it would be ridiculously huge. And it would be a pain in the ass to have to walk up what looks like 5 flights stairs. Maybe it has an elevator. And maybe, just maybe, I'll get off campus housing one year and I'll look into that building. It's got a pretty awesome location--right on Marshall Street, no more than 100 yards or so from the doors to Newhouse III with ample parking for it's tenants. Yeah, definitely wicked expensive. Well, maybe I'll find 4 people to share an apartment with so we can split the cost nicely.
Ah, 1/2 hour until Spanish.
Ugh, except last night didn't end nicely in my opinion. We started talking about the lives of people who are poorer than we are. Okay, fine. But those conversations go in the same direction. It becomes a competition for everyone--let's see who's the best humanitarian. "We just don't understand." "They have it so rough." "We're so spoiled." I feel like these are bold-faced lies not becuase of what they're saying--because it's all true-- but because they're still blind. Yes, we already know that we just don't understand the conditions in which these people must live. Yes, they do have it rough when they cannot afford food and clothing for themselves and their families. But more than that, the "We're so spoiled" is what bothers me. It's one thing to say it. That doesn't make you a noble. Because I'm sure that as soon as those students left that classroom, they pulled out their iPod or comparable mp3 player and/or cell phone without a second thought. The idea that anyone could not own an iPod or a computer with which to put music on the iPod is foreign. But why should it? Is an iPod really all that necessary? I mean, those people carry on happily enough without those earbuds bursting music that destroys both our hearing and our social connections. We are spoiled, but it goes beyond what people even realize. We're spoiled with the idea that what we have is necessary to have a good life.
I don't know what I would prefer. And for anyone that does actually read this, I'm not saying that people should give up these things. I know I wouldn't want to. I love my iPod. I LOVE my cell phone. But don't tell me that people around the world have it so bad and that we're so spoiled while you're texting someone. It'll rub me the wrong way.

I know that might not have made sense. It doesn't make that much sense to me just yet either. All I know is that I'm tired of talking about poverty. I'd rather go to Appalachia again or even go to another country and DO something for these people that we're talking about. I love doing that and I miss it.
Anyway this is all for now.

First Week of Classes, Home Again?

I'm freaking out less about money. Willingly saying no to things that cost money is a lot easier than I had imagined. I applied to that job, but I still haven't heard from them...I should probably call or visit them again tomorrow to find out if I got the job. I'm kinda nervous because in this case, no news is probably bad news, right?
So, now that I'm done with going on and on about my finances, let me write a bit about my classes.
First class of the week is Geology. I'm actually not dreading the boredom of the lecture as much as I had been. I've realized that I know quite a few people in the lecture--like Karl and Tia from SkyMansion! The three of us are intent on doing well and taking good notes in lecture, but at the same time, we're not those creepy kids who sit front row center and get tense if we hear a SOUND other than the professor. Meaning, it'll be fun, and I'm not worried about not being able to focus.
Entonces, tengo espanol dos. Esta clase va a ser mas dificil que espanol uno pero no estoy preocupada. Conozco solo un amigo pero los estudiantes son simpaticos.
News Writing is going to be a good class. I was dreading this class because I've heard horror stories about it, but once I met my instructor, my nerves subsided a bit. Professor Sharp is a kind woman who is clear about what she wants and seems really helpful and open to ideas. However, I turn in my first story tomorrow and maybe I'll be venting about how horrible and mean she is next week when I get my story back, murdered with red ink. Tomorrow I also find out how I did on the grammar evaluation we took the first day of class. If I scored higher than an 80, it's not important that I go to the grammar slammer sessions every week, which doesn't fit into my schedule anyway. If I scored lower, than it is "highly recommended" that I attend the weekly sessions. Hopefully, my training from Mrs. R in 8th grade didn't fail me.
I feel as though I'm missing a class...
Oh! Elements of Modern Mathematics! This class is such a joke from as far as I can see right now. It's absolutely ridiculous how simple the math we're doing is. My friend AJ from SkyMansion is also in the class, and we are dumbstruck by the pace and manner in which the class is taught. But we figure OH WELL, we'd love to have a nice cushy math grade!

And then there is fencing! I love love love love the fact that I'm going to be doing fencing, even if it's very little. I really miss being able to go to all the practices and meets, and even though this class won't be anywhere near as intense as the Ps' practices, it'll still be something! I just wish it weren't only one night per week!

And of course, I wouldn't be back in Syracuse if I didn't feel that little pinch of sadness that comes from missing Gabriel. I know it's sad that it's only been a week and I miss him, but I like being able to see him all the time...or at least SOME times. I don't think this semester will be as tragically difficult as last semester was, but that doesn't mean that I'm not thinking about him and different things we could be doing. I hope I get to see him during this semester. I hope so sooo badly, but if it doesn't work out that way, I can't wait until the summer. =)

Can I just say that Syracuse doesn't feel the same as it did last semester? I feel as though some of the dynamic has changed. People have less of a presence, I'm seeing people differently, and some people have just kinda changed I think. I guess it was bound to happen. I mean everything seemed magically perfect last semester when everything was very new, even at the end of the semester. Now, this place and routine is old hat for us, and some of that shiny newness has rubbed off. I'm not saying that I'm unhappy here now, because that's not true for a second. I'm just feeling a little bit like I need to adjust again. I have a feeling that some of it is my fault. Once I get comfortable with something, I become more reserved and quiet. But I need to realize that if I change, than other things change. Dynamics change. But I can't always be that excited freshman, eager to make new friends and have a great time. I'm not saying that that was an act or that I wasn't being myself, but after awhile, I can't do it anymore and just want to be comfortable again, but something just doesn't seem completely right.

It's only the first week back though. I'm sure everything will sink into normality, and I'll feel at home once again.

Oh god, I might have to be THAT kid...

So I'm broke. Broke broke. After paying close to $300 on books, I have less than $100 in my bank account. That's no good right? So I might have to be that person who calls up her parents to help her out financially. But, to be fair, my parents did offer to go half with me on my books. I declined at the time, telling them that I was going to try to get my books for cheaper online, but that hasn't happened. So maybe I'll have to call them and see if they're still willing to go half with me--it would be nice to have about $130 more in my account.
Also, I just went to apply for a job on campus today. I have to go to Steele Hall tomorrow to fill out the I-9 form before I can officially apply though. But if I get the job, I'd be earning $8.95/hr. At 8 hours per week, I'll be in much better shape than I am now. It'll be nice to see my account growing once again. Slowly, sure, but still growing, and at this point, that's all that matters right now. My goal is to have at the VERY LEAST $600 in my savings account and at least $150 in my checking account.
Man, I know this is a terribly boring entry, but sorry this is really boring. I AM the epitome of the poor college student.
It kind of sucks, but I also have to cash a $90 check.
I'm so used to having money. Ever since I've started to work, I haven't really had to ask my parents for money--with the exception of the month before states when my mom told me not to work. But that was her own damn fault haha.
This past summer especially, I was used to having the money. I was not only getting paid regularly, I was serving, so I was making really GOOD money and I had it in my pocket as soon as I left work. Sure, I was saving for college but at the same time I was able to go do things that I wanted to do, like go to the beach, go to Six Flags, and pay for exorbitantly high gas prices.

Oh, can I tell you right now that I'm already not looking forward to my math class, and I haven't even had a single class yet. UGH. I might as well make Blackboard my homepage because I know there will be a lot of announcements of new assignments-- already I've gotten several e-mails.

Harry Potter and some of my Syracuse Education

Dumbledore is a bad representative of the gay community. It’s a bad image.

Wait, what?
As a Time article recently explained, Dumbledore is not a good representative of the gay community because he is not very gay in the book series or the movies. He is characterized by a relationship-less life with an eerie relationship with a teenage boy. Not a healthy or positive that the role model that the queer community wants.
Because the overtly flamboyant, does-nothing-with-his-life, sex-driven image of Jack from Will and Grace—that’s POSITIVE.
I don’t think it’s fair to think that there’s going to be some ideal image of a queer person that every individual is going to be okay with, but I think that Dumbledore is a fine role model and image. Okay, so he’s not apparently gay in either the books or the movies. Who cares? Neither Professor McGonnagall nor Professor Snape is overtly heterosexual. In this hetero-normative world, people don’t care about people’s love lives…until they’re gay. Just as Sedgewick argues in her piece, Epistemology of the Closet, sexuality is private, until an individual is found to be queer. The fact that Dumbledore does not seem to have any love interest throughout the series or his special relationship with Harry did not raise too many eyebrows when he was believed to be straight. He is simply a powerful wizard who had dedicated his life to empowering young witches and wizards, especially one who proves to be highly important and special. But as soon as you factor in his sexuality, he suddenly becomes a pervert with a sick relationship with a pupil, or a weak gay role model because he doesn’t have any romantic relationships.
I am actually inclined that Dumbledore is a fine image for the queer community. He is a strong and distinguished individual who has only achieved amazing things.
Even more so I think it is a good image because there is lack of focus on his sexuality. I fear that people want to see a strong queer individual whose sexuality is pronounce and very public. But doesn’t that only highlight the idea that he is different? NOT normal? Maybe I have the wrong idea about this but I think it stresses the normalcy of queer sexuality. It forces people out of their hetero-normative ideals that you can’t automatically assume that someone is straight because his love life is private. It forces you to realize that you can’t assume anything about anyone. Everyone is individual and unique. Don’t assume. Who knows, Dumbledore is a very educated and philosophical man. He may have studied Foucault and just as Foucault refused to identify as gay or queer, Dumbledore realized the limitations of identifying himself and chose to live his life as himself, whomever he chose that to be.