Growing Old

Syracuse life continues, and it's starting to get a little old. I want to go home to catch up with all my friends. I miss being able to see them all the time and wish that I could still hang out with them every weekend.
Yesterday was Katie's birthday. It was the most important event that I've missed so far, and I hate it. I would have baked her brownies or a cake and made her a card (I did do that actually, but it's still sitting on my desk,waiting for a stamp). I would have taken her out for lunch. I wasn't able to do that. I almost feel as though I was a bad friend. I know she didn't expect me to be there, but still it would have been nice if I had gotten to see her.
However, I am quite happy that that is the biggest thing that I've missed from home so far. A new friend of mine heard some disturbing news from home last night.
She had gotten several text messages from her friends imploring her to call right away last night. When she did, she found out that a close friend had taken his life.
She can't go back home for the funeral or the wake. She isn't surrounded by her close friends that she's known for years and years, rather ones that she has known for maybe two months. She doesn't have her family, her own room, or that support group that she needs right now.
I don't know how I'm supposed to act. I want to let her know that I'm here for her, but again, we don't know eachother that well yet and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable.

I'm really looking forward to getting to go home for a little bit come November. I really miss Gabriel, and it'll be so nice to be able to spend a lot of time with him. I also really can't wait to have my own room to sleep in for once. The whole having a roommate experience is starting to get old. I just want to be able to go to my room to be left alone. I used to go to my room for privacy. Here, I never get any sort of privacy. NEVER. I feel like I'm never alone. I hate it. I need people to leave me alone. When I don't want to talk about something, just leave me alone. Don't try to get me to talk about it. It's just not a good idea.

It'll be nice to go home and get a really good hug from Gabriel, Katie, or Leah. I'm kinda growing old of being around people that I barely know.

I'm doing well in my classes. Yay!! This comes as such a relief. I don't know, at times I feel like I'm in way over my head and that I'm fooling myself if I think that I can make it through this. However, I think it's becoming clearer and clearer that it's an issue of being confident enough. I'm starting to realize I can do things and find myself not worrying so much about little things.
I'm growing up. I'm getting to stand on my own two feet a little bit. I'm still stumbling a little bit, but I'm getting the hang of things--I'm starting to realize that it's easier to walk, and run, than I thought it had been.
Eventually, I'll fly.